Marin (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} staykovmarin) wrote,@ 2007-10-25 15:36:00 |
|
| Current location: | work |
| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | none =( |
| Entry tags: | emo, work, wtf social life? |
om plz, lemme bore you with my depression!
Lawl. I feel so retarded today. For some stupid reason, i have been analising EVERYTHING today:
So i check my email this morning (for me morning is 1:30pm btw, because i have to go to work at 2 =x )
The first thing i notice is thinkgeek notice for a new t-shirt. Apperent the tshirt has a graphic that lights up based on the wireless signal it picks up. Allow me to quote:
We expect our gadgets to do all the busywork while we focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That's why we hate to have to crack open our laptops just to see if there is any wi-fi internet access
Okay, HOW exactly are you reading blogs, if you have your laptop closed in the first place? I mean you would have to have your laptop open, AND online before you can read Blogs, therefore you would already know the wireless signal strength!
The stupidity of some people never seezes to amaze me:
its like WHAT THE HELL!?
Someday when i am really bored i am going to try this;
This kinda brings me back to how frustrated i am with my life right now. I hate being here!!! there is nothing.
Like you know how you walk down the street, and you have never seen the person walking towards you? ya that doesnt happen in Newport. I just want to get out of here and go somewhere where i can at least live a little! Its like, there are no normal bars, no clubs, and everything closes at 9! wtf!?
So right now, if you have guessed, lately i have just been so frustrated due to the lack of social interaction i am expirenceing right now. here is my current daily schedule:
1:25pm - I wake up, brush my teeth, shower and am out the door at at 1:45.
2:00pm -I arrive at work, say hi to everyone as i walk across the office and sit at the front desk.
2:01pm - David and i talk trough what has happened at work today, anything needs fixing, some new sales i need to be aware of stuff like that.
3:00pm - Usually by then i am done with all the work i am going to do, so now i am just left picking up the phone
4:00pm - David leaves, so i am alone at the front desk, so i now begin reading my mail, and start going over my various IRC channels i hang out at. Make sure that none frowned upon me while i was away and so on.
5:00pm - Close the front doors, and start a casual chat with someone who appeared at one of the programming channels. Maybe piss off a few operators, troll around for a bit more.
6:00pm - i start being extremely bored, begin browsing various sites that i usually check daily
9:00pm - I leave work, drive home, where i again sit at my computer and work on one of my various programming projects.
1:30pm - After dealing with a massive bout of depression, i decide to troll around IRC a little more, generally angering more than a few people (ex. A long time regular at a channel might tell me that i dont know what i am talking about, which will result me me quickly responding for him to 'get bent' which however bans me from the channel for the rest of the evening)
~5:30am i decide that it is now time for bed, close up the computers and go to sleep, where i have to deal with an hour long tossing and turning session during which i cannot get comfortable.
If you missed what i was trying to say is that i have NO social interaction with either sex. My friends are all going to school, not to mention that with most of them, i might as be on another planet.
Ahh the reminds me of another ruined relationship. You know its true that "going out" is bad for friendships =\. Two of my friends recently decided to go out since when i became:
To one of my closest friends: some sort of an idiot
To his girlfriend (also one of my closest friends): a faggot (because i like MuteMath btw)
To the rest of the world, i am just that one kid right? Not that i care what people think of me... its just NICE to have some sort of human interaction (phone, text, hang out) with people that you ACTUALLY know. I mean i can talk on IRC all day, and i still only have a few friends on there, and they are not people i have, or will meet.
So here has been the bit that is actually getting me. I was in Spokane the other day, with my so called friends (that is the part when i decided that going out with them is a total waste of time... mostly the being called a faggot bit). We were sitting down to eat and right across the table from us, there was a really cute girl, sitting with her friend. Well she was looking at me (and i at her) and i almost got up and went over to talk to her. Unfortuately i dont think that my friends would have liked me to ditch them, nor would they get it =\. I didnt tell them anything because i knew the response would be the standat "lol are you fucking retarded?"
I dunno i have never been too secure about my looks.... in fact, usually my looks tend to be the butt of jokes amonst my friends because they know i dont really care much. I dunno, but like that, when i was sitting across a table, and the girl was actually looking at me, it makes me wander wtf was my problem during high school? Well i was a major goofball, so maybe girls didnt find that uber attractive, but it also kinda pisses me off, to know that i am wasting my time here, instead of being somewhere where i wouldnt have to be alone all the time. Work, work, code, work, work is not a fun routine. Its not that i want a girlfriend that badly... i just want somebody i can sit and talk with for a while. just someone who will be my friend, and we can hang out and so on.
Eh didnt mean to bitch the entire post =\. tis my head on paper... well not paper, but whatever
its like WHAT THE HELL!?
Someday when i am really bored i am going to try this;
This kinda brings me back to how frustrated i am with my life right now. I hate being here!!! there is nothing.
Like you know how you walk down the street, and you have never seen the person walking towards you? ya that doesnt happen in Newport. I just want to get out of here and go somewhere where i can at least live a little! Its like, there are no normal bars, no clubs, and everything closes at 9! wtf!?
So right now, if you have guessed, lately i have just been so frustrated due to the lack of social interaction i am expirenceing right now. here is my current daily schedule:
1:25pm - I wake up, brush my teeth, shower and am out the door at at 1:45.
2:00pm -I arrive at work, say hi to everyone as i walk across the office and sit at the front desk.
2:01pm - David and i talk trough what has happened at work today, anything needs fixing, some new sales i need to be aware of stuff like that.
3:00pm - Usually by then i am done with all the work i am going to do, so now i am just left picking up the phone
4:00pm - David leaves, so i am alone at the front desk, so i now begin reading my mail, and start going over my various IRC channels i hang out at. Make sure that none frowned upon me while i was away and so on.
5:00pm - Close the front doors, and start a casual chat with someone who appeared at one of the programming channels. Maybe piss off a few operators, troll around for a bit more.
6:00pm - i start being extremely bored, begin browsing various sites that i usually check daily
9:00pm - I leave work, drive home, where i again sit at my computer and work on one of my various programming projects.
1:30pm - After dealing with a massive bout of depression, i decide to troll around IRC a little more, generally angering more than a few people (ex. A long time regular at a channel might tell me that i dont know what i am talking about, which will result me me quickly responding for him to 'get bent' which however bans me from the channel for the rest of the evening)
~5:30am i decide that it is now time for bed, close up the computers and go to sleep, where i have to deal with an hour long tossing and turning session during which i cannot get comfortable.
If you missed what i was trying to say is that i have NO social interaction with either sex. My friends are all going to school, not to mention that with most of them, i might as be on another planet.
Ahh the reminds me of another ruined relationship. You know its true that "going out" is bad for friendships =\. Two of my friends recently decided to go out since when i became:
To one of my closest friends: some sort of an idiot
To his girlfriend (also one of my closest friends): a faggot (because i like MuteMath btw)
To the rest of the world, i am just that one kid right? Not that i care what people think of me... its just NICE to have some sort of human interaction (phone, text, hang out) with people that you ACTUALLY know. I mean i can talk on IRC all day, and i still only have a few friends on there, and they are not people i have, or will meet.
So here has been the bit that is actually getting me. I was in Spokane the other day, with my so called friends (that is the part when i decided that going out with them is a total waste of time... mostly the being called a faggot bit). We were sitting down to eat and right across the table from us, there was a really cute girl, sitting with her friend. Well she was looking at me (and i at her) and i almost got up and went over to talk to her. Unfortuately i dont think that my friends would have liked me to ditch them, nor would they get it =\. I didnt tell them anything because i knew the response would be the standat "lol are you fucking retarded?"
I dunno i have never been too secure about my looks.... in fact, usually my looks tend to be the butt of jokes amonst my friends because they know i dont really care much. I dunno, but like that, when i was sitting across a table, and the girl was actually looking at me, it makes me wander wtf was my problem during high school? Well i was a major goofball, so maybe girls didnt find that uber attractive, but it also kinda pisses me off, to know that i am wasting my time here, instead of being somewhere where i wouldnt have to be alone all the time. Work, work, code, work, work is not a fun routine. Its not that i want a girlfriend that badly... i just want somebody i can sit and talk with for a while. just someone who will be my friend, and we can hang out and so on.
Eh didnt mean to bitch the entire post =\. tis my head on paper... well not paper, but whatever
